Recovery doesn't have to be spooky when you are in community! But as Halloween and the holiday season approaches, things can get a little tricky. Food centered celebrations, costumes, and other traditions can bring up old patterns and disordered thoughts.
So, to make our October a little sweeter, we asked the members of The RecoverED Project community a few questions about how they are preparing for Halloween.
Where are you from?
Myrah Khera: California
Hollie Ferguson: Scotland
Cami Nelson: California
Mehgan Fontenot: Louisiana
Amanda Swanton: Illinois
What is something you enjoy or look forward to about Halloween that has become easier to experience in recovery?
Myrah Khera: I think I've gotten to a point where Halloween can just be fun again. I try to focus more on how much I love costumes, decorating, watching Halloween movies, going out with friends, and just having an excuse to be a little ridiculous for a night, you know? I think my path towards recovery has made it easier to be present for those things instead of feeling like I have to be mean to myself. Food can just be part of the night rather than something that takes away from everything else happening.
Hollie Ferguson: I look forward to getting to socialize with my friends, and being able to join in instead of shutting myself away because of food noise.
Cami Nelson: Every Halloween my friends host a party, it's a big tradition for us. In the beginning of my recovery the party was hard to enjoy because I was worried about how I looked in my costume and anxious about the fun foods available. Now, the holiday is something I celebrate with ease! I usually do a costume as a group with my friends and do not have background-noise stress about my body image as I am in a place of true body-neutrality, and the foods excite me not scare me! One of my friends makes a chicken-buffalo dip every year that I can enjoy without the unwanted side of guilt!
Mehgan Fontenot: Halloween means all of the fall vibes and nostalgia. It is much easier to be present and “in the moment” in recovery as opposed to active disorder.
Amanda Swanton: I love watching Halloween movies, dressing up, decorating, and enjoying seasonal treats with the people I love. Recovery has helped me become more present for those moments instead of being consumed by anxiety about food or feeling like I need to compensate afterward. I am learning that I deserve to participate fully and create happy memories.
What would you say to someone experiencing guilt or anxiety around treats?
Myrah Khera: You don't have to earn a treat, and you don't have to compensate for having one. Food is not a test of how “good” you are, and eating something you enjoy does not undo your progress or say anything about your character. If you're feeling anxious, try to remember that the feeling itself doesn't mean you've done something wrong. You are allowed to enjoy things! Especially on a day that is supposed to be about having fun and being silly!
Hollie Ferguson: Restricting will never bring you the promises your disorder says it will, it only restricts your joy and quality of life.
Cami Nelson: I would encourage them to be compassionate with themselves. In early recovery, I felt badly about how stressful the holidays were for me, and I wish I had been able to show myself more compassion. In retrospect, the holidays are very challenging in recovery, and I am proud that I always did my best to partake, even if it meant I struggled to be fully-present. With time, and continued commitment to recovery, the holidays became much easier to participate in!
Mehgan Fontenot: Life truly is too short. Years from now you won’t remember the mental battle around eating a treat, you’ll remember the joy and company instead!
Amanda Swanton: Guilt is a feeling—not proof that you have done anything wrong. Food does not have a moral value, and enjoying a treat does not make you unhealthy or “bad.” You deserve to enjoy Halloween without earning your food or punishing yourself afterward. The anxiety may feel uncomfortable, but it will pass, and every time you challenge it, you are choosing freedom.
How do you set boundaries around diet talk during the holidays?
Myrah Khera: I'm pretty direct about it. If a conversation starts becoming focused on calories, weight, dieting, or feeling guilty about what someone ate, I'll either change the subject or say that I'd rather not talk about food that way. Keep in mind that this doesn't usually happen to me. I try not to participate in conversations where people are criticizing their bodies or talking about how they need to “make up” for what they ate.
Hollie Ferguson: Talk to your friends and/or family. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation, you can start by saying that it makes you uncomfortable, and to try and avoid discussing it around you.
Cami Nelson: I like to give myself literal space at big gatherings from diet talk. If I am in a group and diet talk is brought up, I try to leave and join a different group, use the bathroom, or find another excuse to take some time away. Usually when I come back the conversation has shifted.
Mehgan Fontenot: I don’t entertain conversations about my body or anyone else's. I also avoid people who have a tendency to make comments about how I look or what I eat.
Amanda Swanton: I remind people that conversations about dieting, calories, weight, or criticizing our bodies are not healthy or helpful for me. I may say, “I’m working on having a healthier relationship with food and my body, so I’d rather talk about something else.” If the conversation continues, I give myself permission to step away and protect my recovery.
If you could give your past self a piece of Halloween advice, what would you say?
Myrah Khera: I would tell myself that I was missing so much by worrying about whether I was doing Halloween the proper way. You don't need to make yourself smaller to take up space in a costume and you don't need to make yourself miserable to prove that you're disciplined. Knowing me, I'd probably yell at the younger me so she could hear it properly. She has too many thoughts sometimes!. A few hours of fun are worth so much more than spending the entire night worrying about food or your body.
Hollie Ferguson: You deserve to enjoy holidays, it doesn’t make you a bad person to have fun.
Cami Nelson: Five years from today you won't remember what all the treats and fun foods you ate were, but you will remember laughing with your friends and playing games outside.
Mehgan Fontenot: We only have a certain amount of halloweens we experience in a lifetime. Don't let diet culture rob you of those moments and memories.
Amanda Swanton: I would tell her that eating candy will not change who she is or determine her worth. She does not need to restrict beforehand, compensate afterward, or miss special moments because she is afraid. Halloween is meant to be experienced—not feared. She deserves to laugh, enjoy the treats she genuinely loves, and make memories with the people who matter to her.
Thank you Myrah, Hollie, Cami, Mehgan, and Amanda for sharing your answers to these questions. It is so encouraging to hear how you have found renewed joy in Halloween, from dressing up and enjoying seasonal treats, to making meaningful memories with friends and loved ones. Your stories remind us that while recovery includes bravely challenging fears around food and body image, it also can mean being more present for the things that matter most. As we enter into the holiday season, this is a great time to reevaluate what you can do to protect your recovery, support others in your community, and ask for help if you need it. You can find a variety of resources below:
Halloween Recovery Tips from Monte Nido
https://www.montenido.com/blog/eating-disorder-recovery-tips-for-halloween
ANAD Helpline: open 9am-9pm CST M-F
https://anad.org/get-support/eating-disorders-helpline/
Love, A Stranger Peer Support: open 4pm-10pm EST
https://www.loveastranger.org/our-services/project-one-ephnc-pltb9
National Alliance: daily support groups
